What it means to be a friend

Webster defines a friend as a person who has a strong liking for and trust in another, or a person who is not an enemy. There are a number of different types of friends in our lives; some we call and speak to every day and share all details with, some we met in school or college, friends that we only speak and hang out with at work, and for those of us in the military we have battle buddies who can eventually turn into family. 

When I served in the military I was a 12C, that’s a bridge-crew engineer, and our unit only had four females total. When we were finally deployed in 2009 we got attached to a CAV unit where once again, each unit only had four females. You could imagine that we took the term “battle buddies” to a whole new level. Being deployed with a bunch of men naturally brought us together, despite the number of fights we had, we always knew we would have each other’s back. Once we returned home, we all went our separate ways but somehow we managed to still keep in contact and check in with each other every once in a while. In 2014, we got word that one of our battle buddies had committed suicide. I know that each of our first thoughts were “What could I have done to prevent this?”, “Could I have been a better friend?” It’s no secret that suicide is high in the military, current numbers show that in 2018 we had a total of 321 active-duty members who took their lives, including 57 Marines, 68 Sailors, 58 Airmen, and 138 Soldiers. BEING A FRIEND IS IMPORTANT!

It took me a little over four years to realize that although I am allowed to be upset at the loss of our battle buddy and my friend, that truly there was nothing more that I could have done to save her, and to be honest, I sleep a lot better knowing that I was a good friend to her. So what does being a friend look like? Friendships can look, sound and feel different but for the most part all of them have some of the same characteristics. We want our friendships to include honesty, loyalty, respect, a place where we feel taken care of, where we can build trust, be heard but also listen, share, allowed to receive space but also give space and finally, where we can apologize and forgive. We have the choice of choosing the majority of our friends, and knowing whom to choose as a friend in our personal lives is extremely important. Some military folks we’re given friends who we then choose to continue building a friendship with outside of our military duties. 

If you’re reading this and analyzing some of your relationships thinking, “How can I be a better friend?” I have a few tips for you. First, make plans and make time for others. Call, text or FaceTime more often. EXPRESS GRATITUDE. Remember the little things, be adult enough to talk through arguments, do random acts of kindness, give honest and open advice, be reliable, keep some things private, try new things together, and finally, sometimes JUST LISTEN or PHYSICALLY BE THERE. 

Author: Yulanda Jackson
 

U.S. Army South motto comes to life during Fuerzas Aliadas Humanitarias

Story by: Staff Sgt. Melisa Washington

Posted: 5-16-2019

Photo By Spc. Miguel Ruiz | Dominican Republic organizations participate in realistic disaster-relief exercises during media day of Fuerzas Aliadas Humanitarias 2019 at Campamento Militar 16 De Agosto in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, May 14, 2019. Local media and representatives from Dominican Republic governmental and non-governmental agencies and local media gathered at the military camp to witness live disaster-response exercises and answer questions from the media. FA-HUM 19 is a U.S. Army South-sponsored foreign humanitarian assistance and disaster relief exercise designed to build U.S. partner nation’s capacity for civil and military response to major disasters. More than 100 national experts from over 13 Latin American countries will operate jointly throughout FA-HUM 19 simulations and training events from May 6 - 17, 2019 in the Dominican Republic. (U.S. Army photo by Miguel Ruiz, 100th Mobile Public Affairs Detachment)
Photo By Spc. Miguel Ruiz | Dominican Republic organizations participate in realistic disaster-relief exercises during media day of Fuerzas Aliadas Humanitarias 2019 at Campamento Militar 16 De Agosto in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, May 14, 2019. Local media and representatives from Dominican Republic governmental and non-governmental agencies and local media gathered at the military camp to witness live disaster-response exercises and answer questions from the media. FA-HUM 19 is a U.S. Army South-sponsored foreign humanitarian assistance and disaster relief exercise designed to build U.S. partner nation’s capacity for civil and military response to major disasters. More than 100 national experts from over 13 Latin American countries will operate jointly throughout FA-HUM 19 simulations and training events from May 6 - 17, 2019 in the Dominican Republic. (U.S. Army photo by Miguel Ruiz, 100th Mobile Public Affairs Detachment)

SANTO DOMINGO, Dominican Republic.--- U.S. Army South’s motto, ¡Juntos Podemos! - Together We Can! is a fitting representation of its partnership with over 10 Latin American nations. You'll see their motto along with their Spanish galleon insignia on the ARSOUTH website, water bottles and stationary. But the motto represents far more than a few words on a coin. ¡Juntos Podemos! represents the valuable relationships ARSOUTH has established to bring stability and security to the Latin American region.

¡Juntos Podemos! is 100 experts from 13 Latin American countries working together for Fuerzas Aliadas Humanitarias in an annual ARSOUTH-sponsored foreign humanitarian assistance and disaster relief exercise designed to build U.S. partner nation’s capacity for civil and military response to major disasters. 

¡Juntos Podemos! is over 20 national and international agencies collaborating during simulated natural disaster exercises to strengthen civil-military response and relief efforts in this year’s host nation, the Dominican Republic. 

"The meaning of cooperation, collaboration and solidarity is all about harnessing the power of one”, said Brig. Gen. Irene Zoppi, director for the Army Reserve engagement cell & Deputy Commanding General – Army Reserve for U.S. Army South.

¡Juntos Podemos! is the hundreds of residents from Los Contreras and other surrounding communities of Bajo Yuna participating in a flood evacuation simulation, going through the procedures of evacuating their homes to a shelter at Centro Educativo los Guaraguaos. 

¡Juntos Podemos! is preschool children from Escuela Republica de Chile crouching under their desks then evacuating their classrooms simultaneously with over 50 other businesses, schools and government agencies in Santo Domingo during an earthquake simulation.

"These types of exercise help us to visualize the evacuation plan. It helps the the general population”, said Carlos Richardson, physical fitness teacher and evacuation coordinator for Escuela Republica de Chile. “It helps the students and the community, as the students gain the knowledge that they can use at home."
¡Juntos Podemos! is the "Buen Día” we say to each other in the morning and the “cafe” we share together in the afternoon. It’s the continuous effort we make to build the trust and friendship with ARSOUTH partner nations. 

“We as a country are grateful,” said Brig. Gen. Juan Manuel Mendez Garcia, director of the Emergency Operations Center for the Dominican Republic. “My gratitude as a Dominican, as a service member and the gratitude that the President of the Republic feels, in respect to our allies, is that the people of North America and Army South, have always been at the forefront with us.”


 

Effective Communication

Communication is …....

    “The act or process of using words, sounds, behaviors, and signs to express or exchange information” - Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Communication is more than words, it also includes the following:

•    How you say it -  including voice tone
•    Why you say it – intention behind the message
•    When you say it – during an argument, the time of day
•    What you do not say – What you do not say can give a clearer picture of what is going on
•    Your body language – including facial expressions, gestures, and posture

Effective communication is not instinctive, we are not born knowing how to do it. Often we say one thing, and the other person hears something entirely different, causing misunderstandings, frustrations, and conflicts. When communication goes wrong, it can also cause problems in our home, work, and school relationships. For most of us, learning to communicate more effectively requires our gaining several important skills.  We can all learn effective communication.

Effective communication is more than the exchange of information. It is also understanding the emotion and intention behind the information. In addition to clearly conveying a message, we also have to LISTEN in order to gain the full meaning of what is being said, AND ensure that the other person FEELS heard and understood. Effective communication includes four (4) skills:

1.    Engaged listening- is LESS talking, MORE listening! While listening for understanding there should be an attempt to also understand the EMOTIONS the person is trying to convey. When we are really listening, we are engaged with what the person is saying - we will hear the subtle tone in their voice that tells us what they are feeling and will sense their emotion. Engaged listening will make the person feel HEARD and UNDERSTOOD, thereby building a stronger connection. So, you must focus on the person, avoid interrupting or redirecting the conversation, set aside judgment, and provide feedback by paraphrasing what was said.
2.    Non-verbal communication – or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement, gestures, eye contact, voice tone, muscle tension, and breathing. For example, uncrossed arms, an open stance - sitting on the edge of your seat, and maintaining eye contact with the person indicates engagement. It is important to keep cultural differences in mind, be careful of assumptions when a person lets go of eye contact, or briefly crosses their arms. Consider their signals as a whole for understanding. Improving non-verbal communication involves your words matching your body language, standing tall with shoulders back, smiling, maintaining eye contact, and when necessary giving a firm hand shake. You will feel confidant and the other person will be at ease.
3.    Managing stress- When you are calm, you are able to determine if the conversation requires a response, or if the other person's signals indicate that you should not respond. You can manage stress by giving yourself time to think, asking a question, making one point and providing an example, speaking clearly in an even tone, making eye contact, and having open body language. If the conversation gets heated, it is important to remain calm by recognizing when you are becoming stressed. Take a moment to calm down and breathe, bringing your senses into play through sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell. You can take a deep breath, put a mint in your mouth, squeeze a stress ball, or clench and relax your tightening muscles. Humor is also a great way to relieve stress when used appropriately. Be willing to compromise by giving a little and if necessary agree to disagree.
4.    Respectfully asserting yourself means expressing and standing up for yourself while respecting others. It is NOT about being hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Remember, effective communication is always about UNDERSTANDING the other person, not about WINNING the disagreement, or FORCING your opinion on the other person! To improve assertiveness, value yourself, know your needs and wants, express negative thoughts in a positive way, receive feedback in a positive way, and learn to say NO by knowing your limits. Look for alternatives to ensure a positive outcome. Practice assertiveness in less risky situations to build your confidence. YOU CAN DO IT!


Written by
Cheryl A. Scott, LPC
TMD Counselor, Fort Worth, TX
512-391-9879


 

71st Troop Command Qualifies on Weapons

Story by: Spc Jason Archer

Posted: 4-27-2019

Members of 71st Troop Command, Texas Army National Guard qualified on three different weapons May 3, 2019 at Camp Swift, near Bastrop, Texas. Soldiers from the 100th Mobile Public Affairs Detachment, 71st Theater Information Operations Group and 71st Expeditionary Military Intelligence Brigade, qualified on pistols, rifles and machineguns.

Weapons qualification is a requirement of all soldiers in the Army and Army National Guard. The 71st Troop Command uses the annual qualification to keep soldiers ready to answer the call for any mission, stateside or federal.

Sgt. Maj. Jason Morrow, operations sergeant major for the 71st Troop Command, places high importance on the readiness of all Troop Command Soldiers.

“Soldiers’ physical and mental fitness is the foundation for the readiness and lethality of our force,” Morrow said. “It is important for soldiers to be proficient in their advanced individual skills, but they also have to stay relevant by maintaining their soldiering skills.”

To prepare for the shooting range, the 71st used the Integrated Weapons Training Strategy, U.S. Army Training Circular 3-20.0. The publication is a step-by-step manual to prepare soldiers for the shooting range and ultimately make a ready and lethal force. Chapter 4 of the manual includes a six-step process leading up to the range.

Sgt. Matthew Wright, a public affairs specialist with the 100th MPAD, went through the entire process in the months leading up to the firing range. During the simulation portion of his training, his unit used a laser marksmanship training system.

“The laser pop-ups helped me raise my score significantly,” Wright said. “I was more prepared for the targets and controlled my weapon and breathing better.”

Wright qualified on the M-4 rifle and the M-249 machine gun. Going to the range is one of his favorite parts about being in the Texas Army National Guard.

“I really look forward to range day,” said Wright. “It is a break from my routine civilian job, and I get to fire expensive weapons for free. I find myself more excited to go to drill when I know I’m going to be shooting that weekend.”

Success on the range positively effects a soldier’s outlook on being a soldier. Good training is essential to achieve this success.

Soldiers from Troop Command were trained from Preliminary Marksmanship Instruction through the firing range with battle buddies in order to ensure their success.

Pfc. Gunnar Gransbury and Pfc. Clay Ayanna are paralegal assistants for the 71st TIOG’s HHC. Both were coaching each other while on the range. While they were shooting, the pair would help spot targets and check each other’s fundamentals.

“We are pretty new to the unit,” Gransbury said. “I thought it would be harder to qualify since it has been a while since I last shot, but I think I hit 34 out of 40 targets today.”

Morrow further explained the importance of following the training syllabus put out by the Regular Army.

“Any task in the National Guard has the added difficulty of time constraints,” Morrow said. “By following the doctrine and utilizing all the tools available to us, we can make sure our reserve-component soldiers are ready for weapon qualifications and fulfilling their missions.”

Texas National Guard and Chilean Partners Celebrate 10 years of Partnership

Story by Brandon Jones

Texas military leaders and Chilean military leaders pose for a photo at the Texas State Capitol in Austin, Texas, April 12, 2019. The Texas National Guard and Chilean armed forces converged in Austin, Texas to discuss and celebrate their partnership that started one decade ago. As part of the annual State Partnership Program Planning meeting, the parties met to discuss, plan and establish agreed upon activities, in both countries, for the year ahead. The events, held throughout the year, focus on disaster/emergency response; aviation operations, maintenance and safety; military medical and engineer activities; as well as leadership, staff, officer and noncommissioned officer development.
Texas military leaders and Chilean military leaders pose for a photo at the Texas State Capitol in Austin, Texas, April 12, 2019. The Texas National Guard and Chilean armed forces converged in Austin, Texas to discuss and celebrate their partnership that started one decade ago. As part of the annual State Partnership Program Planning meeting, the parties met to discuss, plan and establish agreed upon activities, in both countries, for the year ahead. The events, held throughout the year, focus on disaster/emergency response; aviation operations, maintenance and safety; military medical and engineer activities; as well as leadership, staff, officer and noncommissioned officer development.

AUSTIN, Texas- It is a well-known fact the National Guard’s core mission includes fighting America’s wars and securing the homeland, but perhaps a lesser-known mission is that of building enduring partnerships. 

From April 10-13, 2019, members of the Texas National Guard and Chilean Armed Forces converged in Austin, Texas to discuss and celebrate their partnership that started one decade ago. As part of the Annual State Partnership Program Planning Meeting, the parties met to discuss, plan and establish agreed upon activities, in both countries, for the year ahead. The events, held throughout the year, focus on disaster/emergency response; aviation operations, maintenance, and safety; military medical and engineer activities; as well as leadership, staff, officer and noncommissioned officer development. 

“Both our state and their nation have significant responsibilities with regards to disaster response, and experience is often one of the best teachers so what better way to support one another than helping to share and improve upon best practices,” said Maj. Mark White, State Partnership Program Director, Texas Military Department. “An experience our Soldiers and Airmen value, a great secondary benefit to SPP is the exchanging of our cultures and what makes Chile and Texas special places respectively. We create lifelong friendships through every event together.”

In addition to planning events for the fiscal year 2020, this trip included multiple activities commemorating the tenth anniversary of the partnership. On April 12, 2019, the Chilean delegation was presented with a proclamation from the Deputy Secretary of State of Texas, Jose A. Esparza, recognizing and honoring the important partnership between the Texas National Guard and the Republic of Chile. This same group was furthered honored on the House floor of the Texas Capitol prior to signing the formal agreement on the steps of the Texas Capitol. 

“Today’s events, in which representatives from Texas and Chile were standing side-by-side, exemplify the solidarity of our commitment to the program and one another,” said White. “In 2020 we will jointly execute over 40 SPP events in both of our countries as we start our second decade of partnership which strives to be the model for SPP in SOUTHCOM.”

In a Strategic Studies Quarterly article published in 2018 Gen. Joseph L. Lengyel, Chief of the National Guard Bureau, stated SPP is future focused and adaptive to geopolitical changes. Lengyel says NGB has seen the program grow from assisting nations in developing more modern and professional militaries functioning under civilian control to partnerships that look to deepen interoperability with complementary capabilities and forces.

"Beyond the military benefits, we have witnessed the fruits of these relationships as they help the United States maintain and grow its alliances across the globe through enduring and personal relationships," said Lengyel. "What began as a program of 10 partnerships in Eastern Europe has spread across five continents and currently encompasses approximately one-third of the nations in the world."

As part of the program and in addition to Chile, the Texas and Nebraska National Guards share a partnership with the Czech Republic. In 2018, the Czech Armed Forces and its state partners commemorated the 25th anniversary of the union. Under the National Guard Bureau’s State Partnership Program there are currently 76 partnerships in place and support to 83 nations around the globe.

Forgiveness

My name is Tracy Keating Ward.  I am one of the therapists with the Texas Military Department.  I have been asked to write a “blog” on forgiveness. Looking back on my career of 22 years as a therapist I have worked in many places:  prisons, probation offices, parole offices, pain clinics and here at Camp Mabry.  What I have learned in the area of “forgiveness” is that FORGIVENESS IS THE BEST MEDICINE.  

    As I see it, Forgiveness comes in many forms.  There is offering forgiveness to those who have hurt you.  There is requesting forgiveness from those you have hurt.  There is requesting forgiveness from your Higher Power.  And last, but not least, there is forgiveness for yourself. One thing I do know is that we all make mistakes.  These mistakes hurt others.  These mistakes also can be the agent to bring about change and healing.

    Years ago, when I worked in the criminal justice arena, all my clients were convicted felons.  One day I heard a young chaplain speaking to a group of my clients.  He started his talk by saying, “Hello Brothers.”  This was such a compassionate kind and totally unexpected greeting.  These men looked at themselves as the worse of the worse.  For a chaplain to refer to them with the sincere greeting of “Brothers” made a huge difference.  As the chaplain talked he referred to self responsibility and said something I have never forgotten.  He said, “When you offended, you offended against your own self.”  HUH?  For a moment I thought he meant to say… “When you offended, you offended against your victim, your family, and your community.”  Hurt themselves?  How?  How is this true?  I had never had this thought or spent anytime in therapy sessions looking at how their actions had impacted their own self.  I had completely left my client’s healing out of the equation.  The chaplain continued by saying that each time we hurt someone we hurt our own soul.  What an interesting concept.  We have to be held responsible for how we treat ourselves, not just others.  WE EACH MATTER.

    My next place of employment was a Pain Clinic.  I saw 6-8 clients a day who suffered from various degrees of chronic pain.  Research states that 70 to 80 percent of all people who suffer from chronic pain have an unresolved traumatic event in their past.  I witness each day how people’s anger, sadness, fear, and resentment all impeded their desire to forgive and their bodies just did not heal.  I also witness people choosing to forgive those that hurt them (many times these were family members who were suppose to love and protect them) and then close the door on the past.  They did not deny that the trauma occurred or that they were not hurt.  Just the opposite.  They chose to accept that they were hurt (abused), that it happened in the past, that they no longer wanted to spend anymore of the present time concentrating on the trauma and that they forgave the person by “wishing them well and wishing them no harm” (a version of agape love or the love you give to your neighbor).  Many were people of faith and they made the decision to let their Higher Power be the True Judge of the situation.  As for themselves, they chose to give up their desire for vengeance and with it the anger and resentment that accompanied it. I saw these client’s pain reduce, their bodies heal, and their mind’s become still and peaceful.  Sometimes we don’t even realize how much of TODAY we lose by reliving the ugly events of yesterday.  

    Now working with soldiers I experience another type of struggle with forgiveness.  Forgiving yourself.  Soldiers tend to forgive others much easier than they forgive themselves.  That may be due to the fact that they have a higher level of standard for themselves than they do for others.  By the time a soldier comes to a therapy session with me he/she has usually struggled with their own guilt and shame for a while, even to the point of suicide.  I love to share with the soldiers the following quote:

    We think that we feel regret about a mistake then ask for forgiveness, when actually the forgiveness has already been sent, that is why we feel the regret. 
Sufi Saint 


    I love this quote because it brings so much relief and so much grace.  Within minutes many of the soldier’s eyes tear up.  There is mercy in the quote because for many they had thought they had committed the “unforgivable sin.”  That thought leads to depression, separation, and hopelessness.  Forgiveness of yourself leads to healing. 

    So in conclusion, here is what I have learned about Forgiveness from my best teachers...my clients.

•    Forgiveness is the best medicine… and it is free, no prescription needed.
•    All of us have made mistakes and need to request forgiveness sometime in our lives.
•    We have a responsibility to care for ourselves and when we offend against others we offend against ourselves and need to forgive ourselves too. 
•    You cannot fool the body.  It won’t heal when it is angry, resentful, fearful or sad. 
•    Forgiveness brings tremendous healing for our body, mind and soul.
•    If all possible, forgive then shut the door to the past.  Doing so will make room to enjoy the present.

If you want to discuss more about the Healing Aspects of Forgiveness talk to a therapist, chaplain, or your spiritual leader.  What do you have to lose, except a lot of pain.

Peace.

Tracy K. Ward, LPC-S
 

Texas Air Guard concludes Aviation Rotation 19 1 in Poland

Story by Tech. Sgt. Kristina Overton

1st Lt. Chad Douglass, 181st Airlift Squadron C-130H2 Hercules co-pilot, mans the controls above the Polish countryside during a formation flight with the Polish Air Force on March 13, 2019. 136th Airlift Wing members travelled to Poland in support of Aviation Rotation 19.1 in an effort to increase threat response capabilities with the Polish Air Force. (Air National Guard Photo by Staff Sgt. Sean Kornegay/released)
1st Lt. Chad Douglass, 181st Airlift Squadron C-130H2 Hercules co-pilot, mans the controls above the Polish countryside during a formation flight with the Polish Air Force on March 13, 2019. 136th Airlift Wing members traveled to Poland in support of Aviation Rotation 19.1 in an effort to increase threat response capabilities with the Polish Air Force. (Air National Guard Photo by Staff Sgt. Sean Kornegay/released)

The last aircraft touched down on the runway ramp, as pilots from the 136th Airlift Wing, Texas Air National Guard and Polish air force concluded training for Aviation Rotation 19.1, in support of Operation Atlantic Resolve. During the exercise, Airmen strengthened capabilities between U.S. and NATO allies through participation in strategic joint force operations and training to enhance partner interoperability and maintain combined readiness.

These rotations have proven vital in maintaining theater security by increasing overall presence and further enhancing the U.S.'s commitment to NATO partners such as Poland.

“The exercise was very successful," said Lt. Col. Jeffrey Mull, 136th Airlift Wing deployed squadron commander. "You have two countries that are very interested in bilateral training, and though the 136th Airlift Wing has never flown with the Polish Air Force before, their expertise merged seamlessly with ours as far as the execution of the tactical airlift mission goes. Typical to any of our operations, we overcame weather and maintenance, and were able to accomplish some excellent training together.”

Throughout the Aviation Rotation, the two air forces were able to engage in a number of combined training events: formation flights in C-130 Hercules aircraft, fighter engagements with Polish F-16 Fighting Falcons, combat offloads, and high velocity container delivery system drops. Training together facilitated a platform to build relationships, and formed a conduit for the exchange information and skills useful in future operations.

“We are happy that Airmen from the 136th Airlift Wing were here with us,” said Col. Grzegorz Kołodziejczyk, Powidz Air Base commander. “We are always happy to work with Texas. You have been flying the C-130 longer than us, and you gave us your knowledge. Thank you again for your visit — you are always welcome here at Powidz.”

During a ceremony, the Polish Air Force hosted a celebratory dinner for the entire team. Both air forces expressed their gratitude for the experience and presented each other with parting mementos.

“One of the Polish flight patches they gave us says 'Razem Silniejsi,' which translates to 'Stronger Together,'" Mull said. "The saying is 100 years old, and American Airmen have been flying alongside the Polish Air Force since 1919. We understand the importance of our mission here for both of our countries, and we look forward to continuing our work together in the future.”

Managing Conflict in Relationships

Do not think of knocking out another person's brains because he differs in opinion from you. It would be as rational to knock yourself on the head because you differ from yourself ten years ago.
-Horace Mann

Drs. John and Julie Gottman are famous marriage researchers in the world of psychology and therapy. Both doctors have put in over four decades of research into the topic of relationships, marriage, conflict, and more. 

Conflict in relationships can leave a person feeling inept, frustrated, and angry. 
 “Dr. John Gottman’s Six Skills of Conflict Management” are helpful tools when dealing with conflict. They are outlined below.

1. Soften Startup
•    How an individual starts a discussion in the first few moments will make a difference on how the conflict will end. 
•    Ask yourself if you can be in a comfortable place when having your discussion.
•    If the conflict will be about a particularly inflammatory topic find some place relatively safe or neutral for the both of you. For example, don’t talk about money in your bedroom.  
•    When communicating in relationships, it is important to not attack, or blame the other individual. Try to communicate in the way that you would like to also be communicated with by the other person.   

2. Accept Influence
•    A person’s approach makes a significant impact on the outcome of the argument. Being able to try to see the circumstance from the other’s person perspective may help diffuse the conflict. 
•    Give your partner your full attention. Turn off or put down any distracting technology. Lean in towards your partner a little bit. Let your body language send a message of connection – especially if you are concerned that the topic may create distance initially.
•    Don’t interrupt! Stay focused, attentive, and connected. Even if you don’t particularly like or simply don’t agree with what is being said. Hang in there and keep your focus on the overarching goal of honest communication – a better relationship.

3. Make Effective Repairs During the Conflict
•    Make statements that start with these aspects in mind.
•    “I feel…scared/insulted/like you don’t understand.” 
•    “I need to calm down.”
•    “Let me try again.”
•    “I want to say this.”
•    “I really messed up.”
•    “I appreciate…”

4. De-escalate
•    Complain instead of blaming your spouse. For example:
•    Blame-“You never do what you say you are going to do.”
•    Complain-“The other day we agreed that this was your responsibility. It still isn’t done and I feel really upset about this.”
•    Blame- “You never do anything with the baby.”
•    Complain- “I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Can you pick a couple things to do with the baby to help me out?”
•    Reflect back to your partner what you think your partner is saying. Check in with your partner to make sure you are hearing the overall message, not just the words. Say, “What I hear you saying is…” or “If I understand you correctly, than I think you feel…” This lets your partner know that you really care about the message being conveyed and that you are invested in making sure you heard it accurately. 

5. Psychological Soothing of Self and Partner
•    Use “I feel” statements instead of “you.” 
•    “I feel like we should make a budget.”
•    “I feel like you don’t care about me, when you don’t ask me about my day after work.”
•    “I feel like I don’t get your undivided attention when I am talking to you.”
•    Focus on your breathing. Make sure that you are breathing all the way in and all the way out. Breathe into your belly.
•    Stretch your neck, arms, and shoulders when you are feeling yourself getting upset.

6. Compromise 
•    Describe what you see in the situation and ask the other individual to also describe what they see. Continue to do that until you can come to a compromise that makes the both of you satisfied. 
•    If there’s a problem that you are trying to solve, communicate your ideas for solutions with tentativeness. 
•    “Well, perhaps we could try…”
•     “What if I did . . . and you did  . . .” 
•    “I’m stuck. What do you think we need to do next?”
•    Be polite and appreciate. Acknowledge ways that the other person is communicating in a helpful manner. 
•    Conflict does not mean that individuals cannot give compliments or use “please” and “thank you” during the conversation. Remember that being “right” isn’t what is important but becoming a better communicator, feeling validated, and creating a compromise that will help both of you feel heard. 
Improved communication leads to various areas of personal growth
•    Deeper emotional connection
•    Growth in empathy towards others
•    Confidence
•    Active listening skills
•    Get along better with others
•    Better boundaries
•    Ability to approach conflict in a calm manner

My hope is that you can take this information and utilize it in a way that applies to your relationships with friends, family, and significant others. Start small and find what works for you. Don’t be afraid of changing it to make it your own, but continue working on how to develop healthier communication patterns in your own life. 
 

Texas Counterdrug Guardsmen educate Burnet Middle School students at wellness fair

-A student of Burnet Middle School holds a Texas National Guard Counterdrug Task Force t-shirt BURNET, Texas---A student of Burnet Middle School holds a Texas National Guard Counterdrug Task Force t-shirt during Join the Journey’s Safe and Drug Free Wellness Fair in Burnet, Texas, February 7, 2019. Sgt. Irma Flores and Spc. Jacob Raygo of the Texas National Guard Joint Counterdrug Task Force supported the event. The Task Force members encouraged students to try on fatal vision goggles and try to catch a ball. The exercise is intended to educate them on the negative effects of drug and alcohol use. The Join the Journey fair began 6 years ago with the goal of addressing drug use in the community. Local law enforcement, coalitions and wellness organizations also attended the event. Counterdrug Task Force members routinely partner and participate in drug use awareness and prevention events to educate their local communities.

SERVICE ON THE HOMEFRONT - THE BIRTH OF THE TEXAS STATE GUARD AND WORLD WAR II

Story by Chief Warrant Officer 3 Janet Schmelzer, Texas State Guard

Texas Defense Guard (Texas State Guard files, Camp Mabry Museum, Austin, Texas)When World War II erupted in Europe in 1939, the National Guard was called into active service on September 16, 1940.  Once the National Guard was federalized, states felt unprotected and argued that they needed military units to serve within each state’s boundaries and protect their property and residents.
   
Congress responded by amending the National Defense Act of 1916.  The 1940 “State Guard Amendment” authorized states to create and maintain defense forces for protection and enforce territorial police power. The mission of state guards was to provide an adequately trained force for deployment within the boundaries and jurisdictions of their respective states as directed by the state executive or legislature, maintain laws, suppress disorders, protect the life and property of individuals within the state, vital industries, installations, and communication facilities, meet domestic emergencies including natural and war disasters, prevent and suppress activities of enemy agents, cooperate with federal military authorities in extreme emergencies and perform other duties as were assigned to the National Guard when not in federal service.

The types and numbers of each state guard was left to the decision of the states. The War Department would supervise and direct training, issuing weapons, jeeps, trucks, ambulances and other supplies as needed. State guards were to be demobilized or disbanded as National Guard units returned to home from the war.  The War Department also placed the supervision of state guard forces under the National Guard Bureau, ensuring rules and regulations that applied to the National Guard, including courts martial and punishments applied to state defense forces. 
 
Brig. Gen. L. F. Guerre, Director, Security and Intelligence Division, Eighth Service Command, Army Service Forces, stated that the Texas State Guard “was conceived as a wartime necessity and which serves a patriotic purpose to back the war effort with patriotic service on the home front.”

Following the passage of the “State Guard Amendment,” Texas Governor O’Daniel authorized the Adjutant General of Texas Brig. Gen. John Watt Page to formulate plans to organize the state defense force, including provisional appointment of commissioned officers and informal enlistment of personnel. By the end of 1940, Texas had 173 companies consisting of 500 officers and 6,000 enlisted men. Anticipating the passage of the Texas Defense Guard Act, O’Daniel named Page as the commander of the state defense force. The 47th Texas Legislature and O’Daniel quickly passed the requisite enabling law, the “Texas Defense Guard Act 1941,” which created and organized the Texas Defense Guard on February 10, 1941.  This act authorized the governor to organize and maintain a state guard when deemed necessary to defend the state and to prescribe rules and regulations governing enlistment, organization, administration, uniforms, equipment, maintenance, training and discipline. The act also permitted the ability to secure arms, equipment or other government property for its protection. The emergency appropriation for the state guard was $65,000.

The guard was composed of officers and able-bodied males who were citizens of the United States. To keep from interfering with Army recruiting efforts, state guard enlistment focused on older citizens, World War I veterans, non-prior service civilians, businessmen, defense workers, merchants, farmers and young men not eligible for federal service. They enlisted for three years without pay, except when on state active duty, and all had to meet U. S. Army physical training standards. Anyone dishonorably discharged from a federal service or civilian organization was barred from enlistment.

Under the act, the governor requisitioned arms and equipment from the War Department and made state armories available to the state guard. Other funds, armories, equipment, material and transportation were supplemented by county courts, cities, communities and civic and patriotic organizations. 

The state guard served only within the boundaries of Texas and could not be called or ordered into federal military service. The governor, however, had the authority to order the guard to assist military or police forces of another state in pursuit of insurrectionists, saboteurs, enemies or enemy forces into another state and to permit other states the right of pursuit into Texas by mutual agreement between the states.

The organization of the state guard quickly took shape.  The state guard uniforms and ranks were identical to the U. S. Army, and State Guardsmen wore the Texas Defense Guard patch on their left arms.  

The plan for the state guard was to establish battalions across the state. If a town or county wanted a unit, local organizations, such as the city council and veterans’ groups, submitted an application describing the strategic importance of locating a unit there and submitted an incident command structure. Denver City and Yoakum County pointed out the importance to protect vital war industries and installations, oil well fields, pipeline stations, a Texas-New Mexico power plant and tank batteries for oil storage in their area. By 1942 50 battalions were established.

With enlistments skyrocketing to 17,497 in the first year, the Texas Defense Guard increased training to 150 hours in 1942.  The Eighth Army Service Command provided training materials and films, while Army instructors held schools for officers and non-commissioned officers at Camp Mabry and Camp Bullis. Training covered military conduct, discipline, camp sanitation, personal hygiene, first aid and the use of chemical masks against chemical attack and toxic gasses. Guardsmen learned the basics of march and bivouacs, dismounted drill, interior and special guard duty, sentinel on post, extended order (whistle, hand signals, arm signals) and orderly deployment. They practiced how to care for equipment, pitch a tent, build and dig field fortifications, trenches and foxholes, create camouflage, read a map, guard vital installations, conduct night operations, form the squad edge and squad diagonal tactical formations and identify German, Japanese and Italian aircraft.  

Weapons training for Guardsmen included an eight-hour course on the use of the Springfield .30-6 caliber M1903 five-round magazine-fed, bolt action repeating rifle and seven hours of M1928A1 Thompson .45 cartridge submachine gun, the famous “Tommy Gun,” which had a reputation for accuracy and high-volume fire.

Needing the Springfield rifles for the war in the Pacific, the War Department took back the rifles and distributed shotguns as replacements. In 1943 the shotgun became the principal State Guard weapon authorized for brush fighting, patrolling from cars or trucks during night, fog and rain operations and street fighting. Hand-grenade training included fake hairbrush grenades and potato mashers. At one point, the State Guard considered training with explosive devices made by a Boston fireworks factory but decided to use fake grenades instead for safety and economy.

Page stated that the importance of the Texas Defense Guard as a second line of American defense was “not be to underestimated. Our guard officers will be taught how to meet the same problems which beset the low countries of Europe preceding the Nazi invasion. Holland and France were taken unawares but we here in Texas will be prepared for any eventuality.”

The Texas Defense Guard, only months after being created and with many units still being organized, faced its first big test as a defense force during the Houston Gulf Coast Hurricane on September 22-23, 1941. Over 500 guardsmen rescued victims, transported people to safe locations, patrolled streets armed with rifles, prevented looting, directed traffic in flooded locations, provided first aid and assisted local authorities. The Texas Defense Guard was the sole agency to maintain radio communication with the public and local agencies throughout the storm.  Located at Palacios, Texas, 1st Lt. J. C. Johnson of Houston, Radio Division, Texas Defense Guard, was the only source of communication along the Texas coast throughout the night. Broadcasting on his portable radio, he reported on weather conditions every 15 minutes as the storm approached and stayed in contact with Houston and Austin. 

“If the Texas Defense Guard had not mobilized at 7 pm and contributed their services, we never would have been able to handle the situation alone,” stated the Houston police chief.

Once the storm had passed, the Texas Defense Guard Aviation Branch conducted an aerial survey of storm damage and flooding. On September 24, Texas State Guard Aviation Branch pilot, Capt. N. E. Meador, piloted the first airplane to leave any Houston airport. Meador, along with two additional Aviation Branch pilots, provided the first aerial photographs and damage reports from the hurricane strike area. This information was vital to how and where local emergency authorities responded.  
 
In 1943 the 48th Texas Legislature and Texas Governor Coke Stevenson amended the Texas Defense Guard Act. The Texas Defense Guard was renamed the Texas State Guard. The official shoulder patch was the “T-Patch,” still worn today by the State Guard. The Texas Adjutant General during the Stevenson administration, Brig. Gen. A. B. Knickerbocker, was named the commander of the Texas State Guard. At this point, the Texas State Guard had 48 battalions, a rifle company, headquarters, service and medical detachments.

The Texas State Guard continued to provide support to civilian authorities until the end of World War II. Guardsmen responded to hurricanes, civil disorder and riots such as the Beaumont Riot in 1943, tornadoes, such as the one that struck Crowell in 1942 and remained ready to protect Texans from harm. 

From the beginning of the Texas Defense Guard, Guardsmen volunteered as true citizen-Soldiers and served their fellow citizens in times of emergency. They were not seeking pay or glory but a sense of patriotism and service.